I Sat Down

Last night I set my alarm for 7:30 in order to get in a small pre-run meal and be out of the door by 8:15-8:30. Well, that didn’t happen. Mother nature’s monthly present came calling at 6:30 which caused me to stay in bed until 10:30. Midol works waaaay too slow. Around 9:30 I had 1 slice of Cinnamon Raisin Ezekial bread with peanut butter, bananas, and honey. By 10:30 I sucked it up and headed out the door for my scheduled 5 mile run.

I arrived at my usual running trail 15 minutes later and stretched a little bit to mentally prepare myself. I was nervous. I was beyond nervous, I was scared. I got to the start of the trail and felt like I was going to throw up. This is what running does to me. I look forward to it until I’m standing there looking down at my shoes wondering why I’m doing this and if I can do this. I pressed “start activity” and I was on my way. That start was what I needed because before I knew it I was halfway through my 5 mile run. I’ve started to notice that I “lose” myself and take in my surroundings. I stopped twice for water but I didn’t stop moving my legs because I was afraid that I would stop moving all together. I was fine until it got closer to mile 4. I ran 4 miles last week without any problem so what was my problem today? My groins were SCREAMING at me which made moving my legs increasingly more difficult with each step. I struggled to say the least. I wanted to stop so bad but I wouldn’t let myself until I found myself sitting on a bench at mile 4.30. My first thought was why am I doing this? Then it was who am I doing this for? My groins were killing me and my eyes were beginning to water. I was mad. I was pissed off. How in the world can I complete my 10k plan if I can’t even complete half of it? And then it hit me, I’m doing this because I want to, and I’m doing this for me. I got up and ran my little heart out so I could hear “distance 5.00 miles”. However my phone had other plans and decided to die on me at mile 4.59. REALLY?! Oh, I was even more pissed off so I kept on running until I felt like I had ran 5 miles. I’ll never know for sure I did or not what my official time was but I do know that I’m very proud of myself for getting off that bench and changing my thoughts from can I to I will.

photo 2 (1)photo 1 (3)

When I arrived home I was STARVING! I wanted a smoothie and something to chew on. I decided on the “Ice Cream” Smoothie and a repeat of yesterday’s sandwich. I got to work at 3, and before I knew it it was 6 and I was on my way home.

Now I’m sitting on my bed, watching Sex and the City re-runs, and trying to decide what to have for dinner. A very hectic morning turned into a very calm, and relaxing evening. I hope yours was as well!

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